Tuesday 4 February 2014

Some feelings...

And there was dark outside, some shouting voices in the dark and then there was my silent heart. A heart which was having a feeling of the outer darkness slipping inside itself. The inner environment has probably started to go black, or say blank. Blank did not mean nothing remained there, of course there was something in heart, but it was everything except what he wanted. There were sorrows, pains, wounds and all, but these were all that he had earned in course of time. Not long ago, time was much better for him. Even now, he was getting no idea, how the coin of his life turned over. All the smiles that he owned were lost somewhere with that girl.
You might be wondering who is "that girl"?
In short she was a gem, no, in fact she is still a gem. A girl who entered his life from no where and changed him like anything, however, the sad part was all the changes he could see the difference only after she was gone. Somebody has said those lines true "you only realize what you had only after its lost" . He had no words to describe her but ANGEL OF HIS LIFE.

And later that night when she chose to depart he was left numb and dumb. He could not decide what to say, what to do, how to react,  nothing, he was left blank. Maybe that's when the outer darkness slipped inside him. Later he gained senses, but maybe he had delayed the chances to recover. Irrespective of that he decided to get up and make another effort to get his angel back with her. Taking pain to talk with her again and again even when she was not interested, trying to meet her to talk to her and trying to bring a smile on her face in hope that her smile will bring her back.He did all that was in his arc, but maybe God had planned a longer wait for him.

Now you might be wondering "was it good enough to irritate her even when she was no more interested"?
He was no more in a condition to wonder whether people say it right or wrong. Only thing he had fixed in his mind that its that girl only. Anyhow he had to get that girl back, for those incomplete promises that he swore to keep and maybe failed sometimes keeping those. But yes again maybe it was God's decision to extend his wait.

It was just a matter of few days when boy had told her "if ever comes a day when i cant keep you happy, i'll slowly depart from your life to keep your smile alive" and she had replied something that transformed him like forever "if you love me so much, then instead of leaving me, hold my hand and i'll hold yours. Keep me with you forever and that's all I want" . These were the words that always asked him to hold it back for so long.

He has decided it finally, even when conditions might not be best for him, he'll be there for her forever. Even if she is not going to come back, he will keep at least  this promise to be with her in any possible way. And as he learnt from that girl, he will have faith on almighty that things will turn better someday. But he can't forget her ever, he can't leave her alone ever.

Love cant die, no matter what.......

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